Episode transcript
This transcript has been lightly edited for clarity and readability.
Why these stories matter
Jaime Buxton: Have you ever looked at someone’s life and thought, “I can’t imagine how they got there.” Maybe it’s a woman holding a sign at an intersection, a man sleeping in a car. Maybe it’s a child who’s dropped off daily at school, hungry and disheveled. Likely, these stories feel far from your life. But what if your knee-jerk reaction is wrong? What if those people we quickly judge are more like you than you think?
This is Not That Different, a podcast about the stories behind the statistics, the real people behind the word homeless. Because when we stop and listen, we start seeing something surprising. Individuals experiencing homelessness aren’t those people. They’re mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, your neighbors, the people Christ calls us to love. Today, we’re talking with someone who hears these stories every single day, often the very first moment of a woman’s journey here at Laura’s Home Women’s Crisis Center.
And through these conversations and the ones that we’ve got planned for you in future episodes, one truth will keep rising to the surface. We’re really Not That Different. I’m Jaime Buxton, the senior community engagement manager at The City Mission in Cleveland, Ohio. I’ve worked my entire career in this ministry, and I’ve dedicated my life to serving men, women, and children experiencing homelessness. It is my passion to destigmatize the stories and labels that we put on people who are experiencing homelessness.
Today, I’m joined by Katie Skizenta. She’s the intake specialist at Laura’s Home Women’s Crisis Center, and I’m so excited to have her help us start off this new journey of podcasting and helping us understand truly the stories behind the statistics. So Katie, tell me a little bit about why you work at The City Mission, why you’re here.
Katie Skizenta: Yeah. Yeah. So for the longest time, I’ve been surrounded by social work. So my mom is a social worker, my grandma was a social worker, and it was in my blood to join this field. I had no idea I would end up working with people who are experiencing homelessness. But the Lord has brought me here through a really fun story which we can talk about if you want.
Jaime Buxton: Yes. Well, I know the story, so I would love for us to talk about it.
Katie Skizenta: You’re a very key part in this story. So, I was interning at a nonprofit on the west side of Cleveland, with my boyfriend at the time who was in your youth group. And I had needed an internship for my final semester of college. So I talked with you after we had brought some mission teams here. And got set up and started interning here. And that first day I was like, “This is it.
This is what I want to do with my life.” I quickly fell in love with the ladies and the children that we serve here. And just knew that this was going to be it.
Jaime Buxton: Yeah. And just so you know, I think very quickly myself and everyone else watching knew that to be true as well. Like, wow, she just fits right here. This ministry is what she’s called to do. And so, it’s been such a joy to be part of that in a very small way, but to just watch you, grow and, really flourish here in this ministry. So, I mean, that’s a big reason that you were the person I wanted to do this first with is because I could see right away that this is just what you were called to do.
And so I’m excited for us to just kind of dive a little deeper today. I know your role, like mine, has changed over the years at the mission. How long have you been here?
Katie Skizenta: It’ll be seven years in May officially hired and I interned a little bit earlier than that. So, it’s seven years right now, actually.
Jaime Buxton: That’s amazing.
Welcoming women to Laura’s Home
Jaime Buxton: All right. Well, tell me, explain to me exactly what a day looks like. And really, your role has changed pretty recently. So, I was saying earlier, I can’t wait to actually know what your day looks like because it’s a new role for here at Laura’s Home. And I think that’s important. And so, let’s talk about it, but then we’re going to talk about why we needed to create that role.
Katie Skizenta: Yeah, absolutely. So, my favorite thing about Laura’s Home is that every day is different. But to give a rough estimate of a typical day, I start my day by pulling our unable to shelter list from the day before. So I go in our system, see who had reached out the day before, pull those numbers and get those reports sent off. At that point, then we look at what rooms are available, if anyone had exited the day before, and start calling those ladies off the list if we do have room available.
We do a pre-intake assessment with ladies just to get a little bit more information, see what supports we can offer with them. And then bring them in as an intake. And so those meetings can be really challenging, really exciting. Some ladies are happy when they arrive. They’re really excited to leave whatever circumstance they were in, very grateful to be here. And sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes ladies are just coming in here so broken.
And we are their last-ditch effort. And yeah, I’m that first person that they get to sit down with and talk with and share more of their story with. And so, I do the best I can to make them feel welcome, to make them feel that this is a place where they can just relax and be and just heal from whatever they’ve gone through. We go through all the boring paperwork that’s very important as well, right?
And then get them settled in their room. Another portion of my job is that I also do orientation with ladies. So, once they’ve been here a few days, I will sit down and go more in depth about our program. Really explain why we do what we do, why we’re asking them to take a pause and to do this program, which is a big ask. It does take a lot of time. And so we really want people to understand the why behind that.
And be really willing to commit to the program and to see that change and transformation.
Jaime Buxton: Yeah. Why don’t you do that on day one, Katie?
Katie Skizenta: Ladies are coming so overwhelmed. It’s so hard to like even the basic paperwork that we do sometimes is too much for ladies. So we really try to ease it in, give them a little bit of time to just decompress to come out of that immense high level of trauma and just stress that they’ve been feeling. So after a few days, they’re able to
Jaime Buxton: Process.
Katie Skizenta: To take in some more information and process.
Jaime Buxton: Yeah.
Katie Skizenta: Mhm.
The waiting list and the need for shelter
Jaime Buxton: So, we talked, you talked about the unable to shelter list.
Katie Skizenta: Yes.
Jaime Buxton: You know, I know because it’s my job to go out in the community and talk about this, but you know, I think what is staggering information is that we’ve been around for 23 years. We’re about to celebrate our 23rd birthday here at Laura’s Home, but for the last 13 years, it’s really been 13 years. We have been full, right? Meaning that we operate fully at capacity. There is nowhere for people to come except we’re just coming out of a cold snap where we do accept emergency overflow and we do kind of as dignified as we can cots and room dividers and help people.
But we have been full for 13 years. And so your role was created out of wanting to give dignity to that wait time, right?
Katie Skizenta: Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Because there are so many people, we have ladies who are waiting for months on end. And so I really try to reach out to those ladies and get them connected with any other services and supports that we can prior to bringing them in because we know that wait can be so long and in the meantime they can get connected to other resources. So, we’re trying to do that and trying to increase those connections and just give them a better idea of Laura’s Home prior to them coming just so they have a full understanding of what to expect while they’re here as well.
Jaime Buxton: Yeah. Do you think that they know enough about Laura’s Home before they get here or I mean I mean people always ask me, you know, how do people find out? And I’m like word of mouth. And many people are seeking something different than what other shelters offer.
Katie Skizenta: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think in general most people don’t know a lot. I think they know on the surface like they’re a shelter. We have a really good reputation. A lot of ladies have said like, “Oh, my cousin was there or my aunt was there. Someone was there and they really helped them and so they recommended it to me, too.” but still a lot of people are like, “Oh, you have to go to classes?
Oh, there’s other things involved.” So there is there is still more that I really tried to do a good job of explaining before they would arrive.
Jaime Buxton: Yeah. So today, how many people are on that waiting list?
Katie Skizenta: Yeah, yesterday we had 132 adults and 110 children that were reaching out just yesterday.
Jaime Buxton: And I know you I mean I know it’s your job to be connecting with those people. Where are most of them staying?
Katie Skizenta: We have all over. There’s some ladies who are calling from other shelters who it’s just not a good fit. They want the program. That’s something different that Laura’s Home does offer. A lot of people are doubled up. So they’re staying with friends, family, honestly, sometimes strangers. And so that is one that is really nerve-wracking for me. Those are people that we really need to connect. Some people are staying in their homes, but it’s like a domestic violence situation or something like that they need to escape from.
We have people staying in their cars. Depending on the time of year, sometimes people are staying in bus stops. All sorts of things.
Jaime Buxton: You know, one of the things that I probably get asked the most is, you know, how do you decide who comes in next? And I’m like, I am so glad that has nothing to do with my job and never has, but I know that responsibility does fall on you.
Katie Skizenta: Sure does.
Jaime Buxton: Talk me through how you consider that. I mean I know that’s a really hard question.
Katie Skizenta: Yeah, it is very challenging and one that I wrestle with daily. I would say most of the time we really try to honor that waitlist because that’s what we communicate. We will fill rooms based on how frequently you’re reaching out. However, there are those circumstances where a mom is in the middle of a domestic violence situation. It is a safety risk for her to be where she is. And so sometimes we do skirt people around to bring them in because that is so unsafe and we need them to be in a safe situation.
So but it is that is one of the absolute hardest parts of my job is to figure out Just talk to the Lord, talking to the Holy Spirit to discern what’s the right decision for these. But most of the time, it’s the waitlist.
Jaime Buxton: Yeah. And I guess for the people watching this so people are aware, you know, we have 55 individual rooms. Some are, you know, the size for a single woman. We call them single women that really it’s a woman here without children. And then we have rooms big enough to accommodate a mom with up to eight kiddos, right? And so when you look at what’s open today, if it’s one of those large rooms and the first person on your list is a single woman, likely you’re going to skip to a larger-size family to best use the resources we have.
Right.
Katie Skizenta: Correct. Yeah. Yeah. We try to fill the exact same size if at all possible, if not close as close as we can.
Jaime Buxton: Of course.
The people behind the numbers
Jaime Buxton: Mhm. Okay. What is something I know we just talked about really the in-depth part of your job, but what do you think would surprise people the most about what you get to do every day?
Katie Skizenta: Yeah, I think I think it’s surprising just getting to know people’s stories and just knowing how similar it is to like my own story or someone like these are it’s not just like a stranger down the street that has been strung out for years and making poor life decisions. Like these are moms who have three young children that they are trying everything they can to remain stable and to provide the best life for their kids.
Like literally the point of this podcast like these are human beings with families with desires, with hopes, with dreams. And just so frequently it’s like one situation that has happened in their life that has just caused a downward spiral.
Jaime Buxton: Triggered.
Katie Skizenta: Yes. Triggered that whole train of negative consequences I guess or challenges. So
Jaime Buxton: Yeah.
Katie Skizenta: Yeah.
Jaime Buxton: And I think for me one of the most humbling things is I think most people think about homelessness in big broad strokes and they think well they must all have something in common. They must all have you know it’s all addiction or it’s all domestic violence or it’s all you fill in the blank right? And I think one of the greatest lessons that the Lord has taught me is that no two stories are the same here.
Some of them can be likeish, but they’re all so unique and the depth of need is just something I can’t express. And it’s so much more than just needing a home, Right? Or needing a place to stay. I guess home is different to me. That has a different connotation, but it’s more than that, too.
Katie Skizenta: It’s so much more than that.
Jaime Buxton: Yeah. Do you have any story that kind of sticks out that you can share with dignity? Like I don’t want to we never want to out someone, right? But is there a story that sticks out to you that really just was like I can’t that’s a story I didn’t imagine?
Katie Skizenta: Yeah. I really have a hard time sharing client stories. Yeah, there is a mom who reached out and has seven children. Which that in and of itself is just a really challenging thing even if you did have all the supports in the world to care well for seven children. And in our first conversation, I was just blown away by just her desire to love her children well, to explore what resources were out there.
She was working a great job, making more money than I’ll ever make in my life.
Jaime Buxton: And so that fact is always something that people I think are surprised by, like money doesn’t solve the problems of the heart.
Katie Skizenta: Yes. And so she was experiencing challenges with housing because of a domestic violence situation. And she wanted to come to Laura’s Home at the time. We didn’t have any room available. And it is obviously so hard to tell someone who is right in the midst of that challenge, right in the midst of like, please, do you have anything that we can come to? To say no. Thank the Lord. Two days later, we had a room open up and she was the next family on our list.
And so we were able to bring her in and just the immense gratitude that she had and just the amount of bravery that it took to take seven children to a new strange place. She had to put in some time for her job. They were thankfully able to make some adjustments and hold her employment, but she was giving up money to be able to come here. She was giving up other things to be able to provide that long-term stability for her family.
And so yeah, her story is just really impactful for me as well.
Jaime Buxton: Absolutely. And yeah, and I think that’s a really unique one because most people don’t consider that people who are calling us have jobs. I think when we see someone, I’d like to think not we so much anymore, but I have the same knee-jerk reactions and I’m still just
Katie Skizenta: Yep.
Jaime Buxton: A work in progress, too. But, you know, to say, “Oh, that person just needs a job.” You know, I think people have no clue. You know, one, the cost of living here in Cleveland is ridiculously high, and you need to make at least $22 an hour, if not more. I don’t know. That rises I feel like weekly to be able to afford a modest place that we probably wouldn’t like to even stay in.
And that mom would need bigger than that. And so we judge her for not having a job or then if she had that job she’d have to work, you know, 60 or 70 hours a week and then we judge her for not being a good mom.
Katie Skizenta: Absolutely.
Jaime Buxton: So it’s like there’s no winning in this situation. So
Faith, dignity, and building trust
Katie Skizenta: Yeah, digging to those deeper issues of the heart. That’s what I always I try to explain that to ladies when they’re calling because even for them it’s hard to understand that there would be other factors like it seems like money would be the solution, housing would be the solution, food would be the solution, but we understand that there is so much more. Jesus is the big part of that solution. And we do try to share that with ladies right from the get-go that like we are a faith-based crisis shelter and we desire for you to know the Lord and for your life to be transformed as a result of that.
And we do have so many other supports that come alongside that as well. But that is at the core of what we do.
Jaime Buxton: One hundred percent. And now for maybe a listener or someone who’s watching who went what did she just say? Are we going to force anyone to comply to Christianity? Absolutely not.
Katie Skizenta: Thanks for clarifying. No, they do not have to I always tell them when they first come like you do not have to be a believer to be here. We are excited for you to be here regardless of what you believe. You will hear about Jesus though, right? I always give them a heads up.
Jaime Buxton: I was going to say it, but that’s the reason I show up to work every day is because I want to be able to share this with you and I’m passionate about that. I know deep down this is what I hope for you. But yeah, there’s
Katie Skizenta: Yeah. No, and we get people all the time who do not believe in that. And it’s we love we love that you’re here. We are so excited.
Jaime Buxton: Absolutely. If listeners could sit beside you during the intake calls or even during those orientations, I’ve had the honor of watching you trying to like bring together a family full of chaos and just bring them into the building. What do you think would change about the way they see someone experiencing homelessness if they if they could hear you on that call or see, you know, the eyeballs of the moms who are here when they’re going through intake?
Katie Skizenta: Yeah. I think just the amount of bravery and humility it takes for ladies to ask for help like that has changed my life is just like seeing just the willingness and the bravery of women who are leaving circumstances that might not be great but they’re still comfortable and walking into an unfamiliar place that has all these resources. It looks good, but it’s still something that’s so new and so scary for so many people.
But just the bravery and courage of ladies who are willing to take that step to get that help. Is just amazing to me. And I think it would be for people who are sitting in.
Jaime Buxton: I think out of that same bravery, tell me what it’s like to try, what is the process of building trust? And I know this wasn’t in our pre-questions. So
Katie Skizenta: Yeah. Yeah. That is something that I really enjoy the process of trying to build trust with ladies. I think that starts from the very first time I reach out to them on the phone. Just being a person of my word, being genuine, being clear with ladies about what to expect, about what the process is like, what Laura’s Home is like, and, genuinely being a listening ear. Sometimes those phone conversations that I initially have with ladies are 5 minutes.
We get done the questions I need, we get that done. Sometimes I sit with ladies for 30, 40 minutes talking, just listening to their story and being someone that they can confide in and share about their life with and I think that’s a huge part of being able to build trust is just giving people the time of day to share what’s going on. A lot of people, even myself in past me, I’m working through it, but I just rush through so many things.
But I think that sitting down, taking the time, taking a deep breath, being just a listening ear is a really huge part of building that trust with ladies.
Jaime Buxton: Absolutely. And, you know, not to toot your own horn, but really, I mean, I just hearing this and even me working here, I’m hearing that for the first time. How do you think that has changed, you know, that continuity of care that they’re talking to you, they’re they’re reaching out to you, they’re meeting you, you’re that person, that first point of contact. How do you think that’s changing the experience of someone walking into Laura’s Home?
Katie Skizenta: Yeah, I think it’s drastically changing a lot of things. Prior to this role being created, they could have talked to one of our front desk staff on the phone. They could have talked to a volunteer. Yeah. A volunteer, a front desk staff, a different case worker. Like there are so many people who did this process and that was great. Like that accomplished what we needed it to. But whenever I first took on this role, what I wanted to do was sit down with ladies who were willing to share about their intake process.
And that was something that I heard was just like it was chaotic things like we needed we needed more clarity. So being able to have just me, it could have been anyone, but just me like sitting down and being that consistent person, I think has helped ladies really feel known prior to coming. And just have like one go-to person that is their go-to that will help them walk through that whole process together, right?
Continuity of care and lessons in empathy
Jaime Buxton: And because we have 60 ladies at any given time here, you obviously cannot be, you know, the social worker to all of them. So what’s the handoff process like to our to our case managers then?
Katie Skizenta: Yeah. So once they are here, I am their go-to until that orientation process is complete. And then we get them connected with the case worker. I typically share just like a little bit about their story with their caseworker and just make sure that they have that basic information and try to get them connected moving forward.
Jaime Buxton: Yeah. I’m guessing that probably that’s a beautiful balance, but I’m sure it’s tricky because you can’t share their whole story. They need to build that trust with that case worker, but yeah, you also want to give that case worker a heads up to I mean even just like being sensitive to this or that or
Katie Skizenta: Absolutely. Yeah. So that is part of the role and part of something that we’re trying to refine even more is making that process an even warmer handoff. So more to come on that.
Jaime Buxton: Good. I think it’s important to say we don’t know what we don’t know. And there was nothing wrong with the way we were doing intake before until we realized we could do it better. And so I think that’s what’s so unique about your role and so many people like you at the mission where we’re constantly trying to say how can we better instill dignity? How can we be more trauma informed?
Katie Skizenta: Absolutely.
Jaime Buxton: How can we be more like Jesus? Right. And so I love the humility in which you’ve just entered this position. Yeah,
Katie Skizenta: I’ve learned a lot.
Jaime Buxton: I am sure you have and I am sure you will even today. Which is great. How has this job changed the way that you see people, the way that you see stability and even like your own life?
Katie Skizenta: Yeah. Yeah. I think it just even more so, like I said, I’ve worked here almost seven years. But even more than I had before, I think just in living my everyday life, I am able to see people and recognize that they might be showing a great face on the outside, but we have no idea what’s going on the inside, in their mind and their heart, in their relationships, in their housing. Like there is so much that people are battling that is not visible.
And so that has just increased my empathy, increased my gentleness when I interact with people, even through frustrations and challenges, just knowing that, there’s there’s so much deeper, there’s so much more, that might not be seen. And so, yeah, it just really increases my desire to care for every single person I interact with the love of Jesus, with that care and compassion, whether they are reciprocating that or not.
Jaime Buxton: And that is always the challenge, right?
Katie Skizenta: Yes. Both here and out and about. So
Jaime Buxton: I was going to say everywhere.
Katie Skizenta: Yeah, exactly.
Jaime Buxton: In my home.
Katie Skizenta: Yes.
Jaime Buxton: Everywhere. Absolutely. Yeah. On the way here, I was listening because I was trying to be a great podcaster. I was listening to Brené Brown, of course, and she was talking about empathy and just, you know, the phrase walk a mile in somebody else’s shoes is great, but she’s like, you know, first of all, I don’t like to share shoes. That’s gross. But second of all, she was she was just talking about how empathy is, yeah, maybe I could wear your shoes and maybe I could walk what you’re walking, but it’s still not the same experience as you.
And so empathy is really saying, I believe you. And I want to care for you in that space. And I think that is absolutely a definition of how I watch you work is just giving again dignity to like yeah that’s your story and though I haven’t experienced it, I believe you and I believe this pain or this hurt or this chip on your shoulder that you’re carrying. And I just think that’s so beautiful, Katie.
It is a privilege to watch you work here at Laura’s Home. So, but I know that privilege comes with like a lot of hard work and some really devastating days. And so, I guess what is that thing that keeps you coming back to work?
Katie Skizenta: Yeah. Well, first and foremost, I believe that working here is a calling. And so, I serve an audience of one. And so, yeah, I believe that the Lord every single staff member that’s here, I know that it’s a calling. And so that is number one. And then the second thing is even on my hardest work day, this might be the hardest day of someone’s life that they are willing to come to Laura’s Home.
And so what an honor and a privilege it is to sit with them even through just oh terrible things that they are sharing. Just it’s a it’s just a joy and a blessing that on their darkest day that I can help be just a little bit of that light to shed hope.
Getting involved
Jaime Buxton: Thanks Katie for joining us for our very first episode of the Not That Different podcast. We hope that this episode reminds you that we’re really not that different from those who are experiencing homelessness around us. If this episode resonated with you, got your heart to beat fast, and you want to get involved. If you’re in the Cleveland area, we’d love for you to check out thecitymission.org or to be involved in volunteering or joining our associate board or just coming on a tour and getting to know us on a deeper level.
If you’re not in this area, feel free to, reach out to us and maybe we can connect you or just look up, homeless or crisis centers around you, and get involved. This podcast is brought to you from The City Mission and you can, like I said already, learn more about the work we do at thecitymission.org or you can reach out at connect@thecitymission.org.